Life continues – with or without me!
During the past months, I have not been able to write much. I was waiting for something to happen – nothing did! I was waiting for my job situation to change, in what way, I was not sure. But nothing happened. I was waiting for more awareness to sort of come to me – it did not happen.
I had experiences, yes, but I had hoped and anticipated more profound results. But why?
My own high expectations prevented me from appreciating what I was given. After my near death experience and recovery, I thought that my perception would continue to change. Perhaps it did and still does but I realised that my high expectations were actually preventing me from experiencing and enjoying what was actually happening.
Over the past months, it seems that while I had an experience, a moment of realisation or joyful encounter, I had always expected something more. It has now taken me some time to realise what I was doing and that this had been completely unnecessary and rather unhelpful.
I came to the conclusion that it is not worth pondering on things that might or might not happen. I need to take and enjoy what is offered to me at any given moment.
Enjoy and let go
Yes, enjoyment is meant to be part of life (everyone´s life) – and there is so much to enjoy for me.
Although I do not really like being in the snow, recently, I went up a local mountain here in Switzerland and had a wonderful walk in the deep and clean snow, breathing in the clear and cold air high up above 1500 meters. People I encountered seemed to enjoy it as much as I did – they seemed just as happy and delighted as I to be there.
Then, I challenged myself by renting a sled for going back down instead of using the cable car. What an adventure for me! I had not used a sled since my youngest son was little and we did it together. But going down a Swiss mountain is curvy, steep and fast. At some point going very fast, I had the feeling that I could not control the sled any longer and could do nothing else but just let go. I arrived down safely, with weak knees to be sure, but very happy and proud for having succeeded.
For me, this was another exercise in letting go and letting life and my inner guidance take over.
I realised, this is how I wanted and needed to live from now on. Letting go of my own expectations seems to be crucial for me and my inner development. I need to accept and appreciate what is given and shown to me at any moment.
Being aware of this can be frustrating but is also giving me great joy and fulfilment.
While writing this, I realise that people around me are also becoming more aware and develop ideas about necessary changes for inner development and more enjoyment. The new online magazine “mindfulness magazine” is such an example. It has just been founded by a young woman who is creative, bursting with ideas and joy. I feel, this can develop into a big move toward necessary changes in us and for our environment. Take a look!