Not alone!

Something amazing has happened! I am not alone any longer with my experience…

Last Sunday, I was invited to my friend´s home for dinner and met her neighbour. A very interesting and versatile young woman, working in communications as well as being a photographer and yoga teacher. When I started to talk about my experience and NDE and feeling rather alone without being able to talk to people who have also experienced this, she said that there are numerous groups on Facebook and it would be easy to join and share experiences.

I got really excited about the prospect of hearing from other people in the same or similar situation. As soon as I came home that night, I searched Facebook and found public groups of people describing their own stories of NDEs (near death experiences) and their lives after the event.

I joined one of the groups on NDE on Facecbook and read the various descriptions.

Many people who nearly died, like me, and had an NDE, described that they had seen their loved ones waving at them or going through a tunnel toward a glistening light and eventually deciding to come back rather than continuing into the light.

What did I experience?

This is not how I remember what happened to me. It was different and therefore, I thought that perhaps I could not call what I had experienced an NDE at all. At first, I felt like an imposter among these people and was already close to switching the laptop off, feeling alone and somehow in the wrong place.

But I resisted that feeling and felt instead drawn to writing something about my own experience and posted it in this group.

I am so glad I did because I received a lot of comments from people who were kind and understanding and did not question my experience at all. Many even offered their help, further contact und a lot of love and encouragement. It was amazing and I felt, for the first time since my experience, to have arrived at a place of understanding and acceptance. A big thank you to all of these kind people.

Reading about experiences from others made me think again about my own NDE and I tried to pinpoint what made my experience so special for me and also what made me absolutely certain that mine had also been a Near Death Experience.

For me, the NDE already started with the very sudden onset of symptoms, the huge pain and, despite the fear and pain, the feeling of being totally protected from any harm on that day in the office. I experienced fear but my underlying feeling was that of not having to do anything for the intended outcome – I was going to survive. I had no fear of death, I was lying first on the office couch and later in the ambulance with a feeling of being totally sheltered, as if I had been wrapped in a protective and loving sheet of soft cotton and that feeling enabled me to let go totally.

I was conscious the whole time and yet was not aware of many ongoing things around me. It is hard to explain but I felt pain and fear but at the same time there was also a great happiness within me. I was being take care of, not only by first my colleagues, then medics and later doctors and nurses but by higher beings who gently helped me to let go and who lead me toward the heart opening which was intended to take place physically and energetically on that day.

I had many helpers, it felt like I was the essential instrument in a great orchestra conducted by many beings who helped play the instruments – all the people involved in saving my life.

This is what I know and what I experienced – I had an acute ascending aorta dissection and while my chest was being opened during the operation, my heart and lungs stopped and the ruptured piece of aorta near the heart was replaced, I also received an energetic heart opening.

As soon as I woke up from the operation, I knew that something else had occurred apart from the lifesaving operation. Doctors came in several times, congratulating me for being alive and having pulled through. To them, this had been extremely close and not self-evident that I was still alive.

The life plan

To me, it was very clear and without a doubt had had to happen. I know that I had consciously been part of the decision on a higher level – not during the event but much, much earlier, as part of my life plan. That day had simply presented itself as the perfect opportunity for it to happen and all the outer circumstances had been in favour. The orchestra was able to successfully play the great piece of my life plan and everybody else’s.  I did not say anything like that to my doctors, of course and my long way to recovery was still ahead of me then, with all the fears, frustrations and pain, despite my continuous knowledge about my life plan.

It is only now, almost a year later, that I can clearly see myself as a different person from before and am starting to feel the energetic heart opening that I had received that day.